In 2017, I gave birth to our daughter. Adam and I were thrilled, but we soon found ourselves getting into bed, turning off the light and going straight to sleep, rather than turning off the light and grabbing the sex toys. I thought it might be useful to share some of the ways our relationship changed – not to moan or be negative, but to be truthful about our sex life and relationship after having a baby. It’s not all negative – honest!
1: SAY GOODBYE TO LAZY WEEKENDS
Most Sundays, Adam and I would lie in until 11 am. We’d have morning sex that lasted hours, go out for brunch, and stroll around the local farm shop ogling at the posh food. Now, we dream of a 5-minute coffee break before the next nappy change. We’ve had to say farewell to morning sex, but have managed to fit in a quickie during nap time, once or twice!
2: SCHEDULED SEX
It sounds too organised (and it probably is) but sex nowadays is scheduled.
Adam and I often have to plan our rampant sessions. Otherwise, we’re too busy or too tired to give it our all. On a positive note, planning your sex in advance gives you something to look forward to!
Also, if you shower in the morning anyway, why not shower together? If our daughter is still asleep in the morning, we take the baby monitor into the bathroom and take a quick shower together. It gets hot and steamy, and you can wash your hair at the same time! A genius time-saver!
3: YOU LOVE EACH OTHER MORE
I didn’t think I could love Adam much more than I already did, but once I saw him being a dad, it made me fall in love with him all over again!
It’s heart-warming to see your baby and partner together, and you’ll probably end up a little more teary and emotional than usual for a few months after having your baby.
4: SAY “SO LONG” TO SEXTING
You used to sext all the time, right? Sending risqué pic after risqué pic? Yeah – me too. Until we had a baby.
Nowadays, sexting is a thing of the past, and I’m sending photos of milk powder or nursing bras instead so that Adam buys the right one.
We’re working on it though, and hoping that sexting will make a comeback once we get used to all this baby business!
5: DATE NIGHT INSTEAD OF LATE NIGHT
Night after night, Adam and I used to find ourselves in cocktail bars at 2 am in the morning, or at a late-night showing of our favourite film at the cinema, arriving back home after midnight.
Since having a baby, we’ve had to give ourselves a date night curfew of 11:30 pm. Not only does it save on babysitter costs (which are nearing £8 an hour!), but it also means that we can get at least six hours of sleep before our son wakes up.
TOP TIP: Sex Toys are made for a reason so as a couple why not buy a couple of sex toys to get things going again.